Noise Land Arcade » Weird Headlines

First Clown in Space

Jamie — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 12:54:30 +0000

From Neatorama.com:

Canadian billionaire Guy Laliberte is paying $35 million to catch a ride to the International Space Station on a Russian spacecraft later this month. Laliberte calls himself “the first clown in space.”

full story here

My question is, why can’t they just send them all and be done with it?

In space, no one hear’s you squeak your nose.

Proof of Time Travel?

Jamie — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:42:28 +0000

Archeologists recently opened an undisturbed 400 year old tomb in China and discovered a Swiss watch!

Check out the story here.

Man, I knew the economy was bad, but…

Jamie — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:35:59 +0000

this is ridiculous!

For those of you that are not computer geeks, NaN is geek for “not a number”. It usually is the result of doing a mathematical operation on a value that is…drum roll please… not a number. So, I’m guessing the Dow dropped so low that it isn’t even registering as a number.

This screenshot came from MSNBC.com. Upon refresh, it appears all markets have fully recovered. Phew!

The Sausage Slapper

Jamie — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 22:25:13 +0000

= ?

This was too good to not share. Apparently some dude that was not quite right in the head (just a guess?) broke into some homes in Fresno. That in and of itself is not strange. I do it all the time…who isn’t up for a little B&E once in awhile? Where this differs from your harmless Friday night smash and grab – this gentleman covered the sleeping homeowners with some seasonings, and then slapped them around with a sausage a bit before fleeing the homes. I shit you not.

Here are some priceless quotes:

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying “Pappy’s Seasoning” to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

and:

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

The full story can be read here.

And…in case that page disappears you can read the entire story below by after the split.

Burglar victims wake to spice rub, sausage attack

By Louis Galvan / The Fresno Bee

09/06/08 21:55:06

A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff’s deputies said Saturday.

Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he’s ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

Antonio Vasquez Jr.

“It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID,” Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims’ home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying “Pappy’s Seasoning” to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims’ kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

“That’s right, the dog ate the weapon,” Burrimond said.

“I tell you, this was one weird case.”

The Great Hot Dog Incident of 2008

Jamie — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:17:14 +0000

Did you ever see a news headline that you just have to click on? Here’s one that seemed a little strange:

This was on MSNBC.com, in the local section for my area. What was this “hot dog incident”? Did he eat too many and get sick on someone? Did he throw a hot dog at an old woman? Click here to find out.