I haven’t written an arcade related post in a little while (sorrrRRRY!) This is partly because I’m trying to save money for a truck and haven’t bought anything arcade related as a result. It’s also because I’ve been consumed with work to the point that I haven’t had much free time to work on my games lately. I’ve been itching to finish Baby Pac-Man, and will soon. For now, here’s some more fun with advertising….

Notice: If you are older than 60 years old, please stop reading now.

I spotted this ad at the top of MSNBC.com this morning:

This ad is incredibly deceptive. Look at the before picture on the right. That woman looks like she’s been living on the surface of the sun since the Eisenhower administration. She can’t be a day younger than 125.

There are several reasons that prove the woman in the before picture is not a burn victim, but in fact a victim of a horrid photoshop job:

1. The woman in the before picture is smiling. No one with a face that tortured by the elements is going to be smiling. Years of baking cookies for ungrateful grand children would have turned that smile into a scowl years ago.

2. A woman that old would never have that many teeth in her mouth, and the ones she would have would look like little baked beans.

3. Look at her hair. While it is gray as expected, it also looks long and luxurious. A woman of her age and experience would not have long flowing locks. She would have an old lady afro like this one:

In closing, if this product does work I’m going to buy a whole case now and save it. In about 20 years, I’m going to slather it all over my entire body. Heck, I may even have to do the same to my wife after she falls asleep around 5:30 pm after a day of heavy knitting. I will post back here in 20 years and let you know if it really works.

Commercials suck. I usually try to avoid watching them, and Tivo helps to get that job done. For some reason, I wasn’t fast forwarding through commercials the other night and noticed something rather strange.

Have you seen the Citibank commercial where this dude takes his woman to a fancy restaurant that took forever to get into, and they start bitching about how the food is tiny, and is in fact “elf food”? I’m talking about these 2 clowns:

The picture sucks, I know. It’s hard to take pictures of the TV but hopefully you’ll get the idea.

So, they get all worked up because they are served elf food, and decide the only logical thing to do is to buy more substantial food at a gas station. Mmmm….every time I hear the word “Texaco” my mouth starts watering.

Take a look at this woman’s fingers (if you can muster enough will power to pull your gaze away from her freakishly large nose):

They look fairly normal, no? Note the ring on the ring finger of her right hand. Now….look at that same finger as she goes to give the store clerk her credit card:

Not only is that ring missing, but her FINGER IS MISSING. What the hell is that gnarly discolored stump where her ring finger used to be? The wife and I thought at first that maybe her finger was bent, but it just doesn’t look that way. A few more frames of the video confirm our suspicions:

That hand, my friends, does not belong to that woman. It must belong to a guy that got it stuck in the sharp angry bits of some sort of dangerous farming equipment.

Now, I have nothing against people with missing (or extra) fingers. But WTF? If they are trying to film a scene with a “CITI” card as the main object of interest, wouldn’t you think they would take the extra time to try to find someone in the room with a full set of fingers? I just don’t get it.

Next time this commercial comes on, watch it closely and let me know if you saw the same thing.

If you need any dance shoes, checkout this spam I just received. If you decide to make business with them, please let me know how it goes - because all my dance shoes have holes in them from doing the funky chicken.

Did you ever see a news headline that you just have to click on? Here’s one that seemed a little strange:

This was on MSNBC.com, in the local section for my area. What was this “hot dog incident”? Did he eat too many and get sick on someone? Did he throw a hot dog at an old woman? Click here to find out.

I was hoping to get something arcade related in the mail today to write about, but it didn’t happen. So, in honor of the new Knight Rider special coming this Sunday, here’s my rust bucket truck tricked out like KITT:

It drives itself just like the real KITT, except it leaves a trail of rust behind it.

Checkout this chair:

Now, if only they made a toilet seat version. That would be something.

If you ask this lady, the answer is when you are in a pine box:

I snapped this at the fabric store while I was with my wife this past weekend. This senior is still stripping AFTER 25 FREAKIN’ YEARS! I wonder what strip club in hell she dances at? If she’s still giving lap dances, I hope she remembers her Depends. This woman should NOT be stripping. She should be in the kitchen baking me cookies.

I just noticed this picture on my phone, and forgot it was there:

I spotted this in Walmart while Christmas shopping and had to snap a picture of it. I’m not sure what’s going on here, but it appears that this unicorn is crapping rainbows. He’s looking back there either in shock, or in pride at his amazing accomplishment. The unicorn is printed on the outside of the plastic, and the rainbow is inside.

We stopped at a Walt’s Roast Beef today, and saw 2 signs on the door going in that made me embarrassed to group myself in with the human species. Have we really gotten this stupid/ignorant? I think these 2 signs are clear evidence that the end of the world is nigh!

AddLetters.com has a new Disneyland sign generator. Here’s my sign…can you imagine pulling up to Disney after a long drive with the kids to see this?