I’ve been watching a ton of movies lately. I am single handedly keeping my local Ballbuster Blockbuster Video in business. What’s even sadder is that I have a subscription to Netflix and have been too lazy to return my movies.

I saw 2 rather dated movies recently:

This was by Wes Craven, of Nightmare on Elm Street fame. It was his first movie. I recognized the title as being a famous movie, and figured I’d better watch it in case someone quizzes me at the next cocktail party. It came out when I was negative one years old (1972). This movie was actually decent…it was difficult to put up with the horrible 70s music though. It was incredibly disturbing. It starts with some text on the screen saying that it was based on a true story, which was a complete lie. See that house on the front? I don’t remember ever seeing it. This movie has nothing to do with that house, which I find very strange. Noiseland Arcade rating: 1 and 1/2 thumbs up.

The next suckfest was called eXistenZ:

This movie was 97 minutes of pure crap-a-tude. It’s proof that good actors can make horrible movies. It has Jude Law, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Willem Dafoe in it, so I figured it couldn’t be that bad. Boy, was I wrong. It’s a pre-Matrix sci fi movie about an alternate reality that takes place inside a computer game - a computer game that completely blows. If I had a choice of watching this movie or shaving with a rusty potato peeler, I’d choose the latter all day long. If you want to see a pre-Matrix movie that is of the same veign but without all the suckiness, I’d recommend The Thirteenth Floor. Noiseland arcade rating: No thumbs up.

Yesterday, I saw a movie that was actually released this century -

This movie was decent. Nothing to write home about, but it had some funny moments. Being an arcade game dork now, I had to notice that there was an arcade game in Adam Sandler’s apartment. At first I thought it was Galaga, but it’s clearly not:

It looks like it reads “Balica”, which is a game that doesn’t exist. Current theory is that this is a fake game prop made just for this movie. If you know more about it, please comment and let me know so I can sleep tonight.

Noiseland Arcade rating: